time off

it seems as if i enjoy all this time i have had since loosing my job but the truth is ive been ready to work for a while now. im going crazy.

When It Feels

Imagine yourself in the second grade, about yay high, snot-faced bad boy sitting in the principal’s office. You sit there quietly kicking your feet back and forth in between the legs of the chair. You twiddle with your thumbs in an endless circle, almost as if two F12’s were caught in a whirlpool-like gun fight. The butterflies in your stomach are at it again, they soar, rumble, toss, and turn, in a cyclone of energy released inside of you. Sweat beads form on your forehead, a quick wipe fixes that, your eyes are now glazed and tiny blood vessels explode left and right.

The footsteps you hear, tap, tap, tap, echo behind your head and your ears turn bright red. Your body begins to gently tremble followed by a soothing swaying motion. The sweat is at it again only this time your neck feels moist and the back of your mouth feels dry. You quickly scan your thoughts, a jumbled mess by now, and nothing justifies where you sit. By now the palms of your hands have begun to slip and that endless battle between thumb Right and thumb Left comes to an end as both parties slip away.

One last tap, tap, tap and the door opens sending a loud shiver down your back. It’s as thought every vertebrae in your spine was pricked by a needle. The booming voice behind the dark and ominous door beckons you and you freeze as if being held in time before you hear it again. Your walk from the solitary chair where you once fiddled and giggled now bears resemblance to a walk of shame. You sit, in front you a sheer black desk with specks of light reflected upon it and for once in a long time you forget where you are.

Reality lures you back in and you’re sitting in the middle of a puddle of fear, soaking wet with from head to toe. The voice, booms, echoes, stirs you up. You take a grip of the arm rest and lift your body up. The nefarious voice behind the chair swivels around and faces you. In its hands, is a jar! Filled to the brim, of what seems to be an empty mayo jar, are hundreds of pennies crammed in like sardines all looking for a little space to fit in. Slowly the jar is placed in front of you and you look at it curiously, catching a glimpse of yourself in its reflection.

Twist, twist, twist and the lid comes off the jar revealing shiny nickels, and dimes, and quarters all mixed in like a fruit salad. The voice, which now bears a familiar face, pushes a paper in front of you. You flip it over and you name lies there in a black calligraphy-esque font that spells it out beautifully.

“Student of the Month”

Steps

What happens when you try hard moving in the right direction and it comes crashing down on you?
What happens when you've tried so much and for so long that you lose interest in trying anymore? What happens when you can't go on anymore and those steps don't help at all?
What happens when you're so lost directions don't come in handy?
What happens when everyone is gone and you're alone?
What happens when you've lost?
What happens if nothing happens?
What happens to me.....?

Rockish

You are the rock
that strengthens my foundation
Without your support
I'd be my own damnation

You cradle my wounds
Keeping away infestation
Nursing my hard knocks
Guiding me in my destination

You push and pull me
Swear there will be a celebration
In the near future
I can almost feel the sensation

You stand tall as light
I have the bad reputation
Making choices for the best
Heading for central station

You are everything
And I'm here for your coronation
I await your words
I'm only here for consideration

Hi, You're Still Fat

Why is it when you see someone for the first time in a very long time the first thing you do is lie in an effort to strike up a conversation?
Example:
Friend: wow you look great have you lost weight?
Me: um no...must be the shirt
Friend: no, you definitely lost some weight...
Me: I did shave, maybe its that...
Friend: you look great
Me: um thanks, you look amazing...you look great as a blond (minus
your dark ass roots)

Tricks & Pricks

...it's small and wonderful until you drop it
..round and round until you learn to pop it
...unexpected and full of mysteries
..the bag is sagging with his stories
...grand and bland and with deceit
..it's all matter of holding your receipt
...Zero to hero in a matter of time
..why don't you just squeeze that lime
...rain drops and pours from those eyes
..just like those big glazed lies

Day Wan

It's taken me almost all weekend to realize that I'm technically jobless. Yes, I still have a part time job but we all know part time and necessity don't go well in the same sentence.
I'm obviously worried and a little bit still in shock about the whole damn thing. I can't fathom the idea of having to start up again at a new location with brand new people and brand new rules and all that joy of settlement. This blows, I don't even wanna dig deeper into the real "reality" of how this is affecting me not just financially but mentally.
This isn't the first time I've had to find a new job quickly after leaving the job but this is the first time I can say I was laid off. Thanks slumping economy/rising costs of everything! I'll figure something out soon in the meantime I'll have to manage with what's been given to me and hopefully make ends meet or come close to.
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